Learn to See Yourself for Yourself – Self Perception
Further to last week’s episode of Being Mary Jane which airs on Black Entertainment Television Network (BET). For those of you who don’t watch television imagine a black female news anchor wearing her loose naturally curly-kinky hair in lieu of Indian Remy (or weave). In this case she is between hair styles and her stylist cancels on her. This is the tone writer Mara Brock Akil sets of a black female in hair limbo in the midst of life limbo. Hair limbo typically translates into life limbo. I seriously wonder what Mary Jane would’ve looked like had she had her mane twisted out in lieu of replenishing her sew-in! LOL!!! She clearly stated that she was afraid to go into the office without her weave… I remember those days of being Remy Whipped!
It was actually during my transition to natural hair that I discovered weave. (I went to college in the dirty south and wore a relaxer.) While the sew-in was not meant to be a permanent solution I did find myself becoming addicted to it. Wanting everything about my appearance to be as perfect as the hair and seeking the perfect lifestyle as well. I was diligent in ordering my internet hair exploring LA companies such as Extensions Plus. At the time, I even had a friend who told me if I went natural they would give me a relaxer in my sleep. However, when my stylist at the time advised me he did not “do natural hair” I knew it was time to find a stylist who specialized in natural hair. My concern was for the health of my hair; I could have cared less of what my fellow worker bees in Corporate America thought of me when I walked into the office with a rod set. Heck.. I had hair before I had a corporate offer or signing bonus. Moreover, I would have my truly natural hair long after I’ve departed from Corporate America.
In 2013, I was welcomed to the office by soft staring eyes. Some thought I had cut my hair while my hip coworker from Michigan said bluntly I knew that wasn’t your hair. (She was referring to the Indian Remy that flowed down my back and whipped in the wind.) Followed by I actually love this look on you can I touch your hair. Her cheerful hands neared my mane.
No one wanted to touch the weave but everyone wanted to bathe their hands in my curls. While I was not confident enough in myself to big chop (BC) in 2012 I began to travel the path the long path to self awareness. In the simplest of terms self awareness is the act of knowing thy self. It is a psychological construct; the act of looking at oneself in terms of traits, behaviors and so on. You can read more about my journey self awareness here http://bringingoutsuccessfulsisters.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-road-to-self-awareness-journey-to.html.
My journey to self awareness was the first step in discovering my true self. One cannot claim to know oneself if one cannot look inward. So what are we doing if we don’t know ourself? We are acting based off of what the mirror of our image is projecting. Since we aren’t looking in the mirror we are a reflection of the projections of others. We learn about ourselves just as we learn about others through observation and study. There are no short cuts. Once you have opened up to studying yourself you can place less and less weight on what you think other’s think about you. Don’t be defined by others define yourself.
Carefully watch your behaviors and begin to break them down. Through self perception you can fine tune yourself and develop goals toward being the best version of you possible not the best version of your favorite reality star. Stop depriving yourself of the necessary life skills needed to be happy. Lets face it we are generation of scholars and social media addicts so we are readily comparing ourselves to others. The behaviors we exhibit are only depriving us making it to the drink of water in the scorching oasis. Progressing to self perfection is simple as journaling like we did as teens. This time we are looking inward instead of outward. Keep a journal and write down your observations about yourself and see yourself develop into a conscious individual who broke free from the Matrix and is heading to Zion. I’ve saved you seat next to Neo!
7 Signs You’re not Self Aware
The Road to Self Awareness
Self Perception Theory
Featured-Image from pixgood.com